Poem for people



you know I like you a lot
sometimes I miss you when you are not there
sometimes you are not there for far too long
and I weep, although I have no idea why
it’s starting to seem more obvious

I was told I had a weakness
a fear of being alone
I found this to be true
it suddenly seemed less true
when I told it to you

do you feel so normal being alone
that the very idea of loneliness
is empty and meaningless
do you look down on those who succumb
to such experiential trivia
or are you so well adapted to being alone
that you have no idea what else there might be
in that 100% you space

what I want to think
what I dare to suspect
is none of the above
I suspect you of not being lonely

I suspect I find this impossible to imagine
I am suspicious that you have found something
I have been looking for

I suddenly wonder whether it is an either or condition
but it involves being connected to the universe
all by oneself

maybe you did this because you were
forced to
and maybe we all need to do it
before we start making sense
can a wrong and a right be the same thing?
I have wanted it for so long
or maybe it is synchronous with

only at just the point when you were plunged into
did I begin to be spoken to
out of free will that is
not by people paid to do so
my loneliness is embedded
in my sense of normality
and I still don’t know whether it is fine

yours was imposed on you
you went from one lifetime of noise
to another
seen and not heard?

you know I like you a lot
sometimes I miss you when you are not there

I was told I had a weakness
but really
I am just a common or garden victim
of the rise of individualism
where a family of two
comes to seem pretty big company
compared to big families who fuck each other up
of which there seem to be rather a lot
I can’t leave the house without tripping over them

anything that can possibly be managed alone
is sooner or later annexed
and accounted

if you can’t do every single thing well for yourself
confess your dysfunction now
and you can chant your absolution
I must love myself
I must support myself
I must take care of myself
I must know myself
I must be strong for myself so that I can be strong for others

I was told I had a weakness
for people
so sue me