Welcome to the Sleep Project (disambiguation: not to be confused with invaluable advice blogs helping parents of babies survive with their sanity intact!) My Sleep Project has a longer trajectory – I want to see new kinds of human relationships becoming commonplace.

Read ‘Welcome to the Sleep Project’ first, because without it my other posts might come across a bit strangely: https://sleepproject.wordpress.com/2011/05/07/hello-world/

What I am looking for is a conversation about some of my assumptions:

  • that hetero couple relationships often introduce a host of rules into our lives – many of which are unspoken
  • although some rules are helpful, unspoken rules can create angst, cause harm and crush the spirit
  • although we might understand where these have come from, this doesn’t mean that we should still accept them
  • these rules can limit our development and our engagement with the world and other people
  • traditional relationship models can carry these rules into newer forms of couple including gay relationships.
And about some of my ideas:
  • love and sex are deeply enmeshed but do not require each other – so we should experiment more
  • white anglo culture is a very isolating way for people to live – so we should connect more
  • we are over-sexualised by the media and by our victorian ancestors – so we should create more de-sexualised spaces
  • our gender is too often taken as a blueprint for our sexuality, which causes deep confusion – we must challenge this most of all
  • sexuality labels are our response to discrimination and prejudice – when we have defeated prejudice we won’t need them.
But being a wordy bugger, I also wanted to come up with something more practical – something for us all to try at home. This is the idea that we can increase love and well being by de-sexualising adult sleep, and in the process we can teach ourselves to talk more openly about sex. Please read on…

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